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Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Words from the bottom of my heart that I wish to tell you.


I maybe be too blunt and straight forward with my words hope you will forgive me if I make you feel offended while reading all the entries in this blog.

After I had read your blog, from May to September, I understand why you want to stop contacting with me. Yes, you may feel that I said those nasty stuffs to hurt you and I am a boyfriend who you got to spend to buy happiness with, but seriously if it just a excuse to numb your feeling for me?

Frankly speaking, didnt I give in for this relationship? Didnt I put in as much effort as being your boyfriend? I know there really no point arguing about this past relationship but I too really hope that you will be happy that why I decided to initial break up with you.

I even force myself to stop contacting you, i even try to make you hate me than holding back. This is the only way to make you happy and I dont mind to do this sacrifice. Yes! you may feel that what I said maybe ridiculous, but this are my intentions cos I believed to make you hate me is to shorten your suffering and give you the strength to move on and be happy that you make the right choice.

You said after 1 year 7 mths, I still dont know you, actually I love you and know you well so as to did all this in purpose to give you the reason to hate me. I also helping myself to push harder in life so as to prove to you that I can be the guy who can provide for you and family. I told you before I need 3 years to give you the life you want but I cant bear u to suffer with me any longer so I initial the break up. I dont mind being blame. As I know loving someone is not to make someone feel suffering. Even you are no longer there as my girlfriend, but everyday, I can see the youtube that you had up loaded, I can read your blog, I feel that you are there mentally. I am really happy and contented.

I dont ever think of patching up until I can be who you want your life time partner should be. Then I will appear in your life again and pursuit a new love and beginning with you. This is my promise and I give myself another 1 year 6 mths to successful. In the meantime, enjoy your single hood and be happy always. Cause I want you to be even happier then being with me.

I will update this blog. I know you dont want to keep in contact with me. So let this blog be the bridge that connect us together.

I Miss You

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